take it as you will

i've come to a few conclusions about myself. some of which have been apparent for a while. i have known about these things but thought i would write them down so i remember them- kind of like writing something down in ink makes it harder to forget, at least for me.

first off i LOVE This Will Destroy You. you need to find them on iTunes and listen to them. heck, you might as well just purchase their albums. i find them very calming yet energizing. its a weird mix. i could listen to them and Explosions in the Sky for hours if i could. i am happier when listening to them vs. the weird alt. rock i have grown to love. the past few years, when relationships were not so great and i was all over the place emotionally, i depended on more "depressing" music to fill an odd void. conclusion #1: 

don't listen on "depressing" music if you are trying to be happy again. what a conclusion, i know. 

secondly, guys [pardon me while i hate on you a bit] come and go. relationships are up and down. good and bad. happy and sad. uplifting and a demolition on your emotions. but when you know you know, you know? i suppose. i mean thats what i am told. when you know, you know. i believe that though, in all honesty. i mean i like to think i once knew at one point, of a relationship of my own that was real, pure and honest.  the more skeptical side of me will say that all good things come to an end. point being, friends are usually the ones left standing there with their arms open and sturdy shoulders in waiting when a relationship hits the fan. in a sad way, we often ditch those who know us best for those who don't know us at all but want to. and when it ends, we get to conclusion #2:

balancing out your time with your significant other and with your friends is key to making you a balanced person. neither one should be limited or cut out of your life because of the other. and lets be honest, sometimes as friends we feel forgotten about when mr. charming waltzes in and takes away all your spare time.

maybe its just me and my thinking though. i have been a bit frazzled as of late. my work load is incredible and i gosh darnnit i just havent been able to figure out how to get 36 hours into 24. [any suggestions?] my mind is going every which way. i am back to the point where i am buying two conditioners at meijer. i was able to catch myself, in which i made some smart remark to my roommate about my uncontrollable mistake to by two of what i dont need - some lady walks buy and says she does it all the time. alright, so i had a close call with buying two conditioners again. what did i happen to do this last trip into meijer? forgot my hairspray that i paid for. ugh. how annoying. went to use it this morning and couldnt find it anywhere. chances are it was left on the Self Scanner. i was watching FRIENDS last night - the episode of what could have been. Pheobe has a heart attack and someone says that its natures way of telling you to slow down. now, i certainly hope [knock on wood] that i dont have a heart attack at 24 but i will say that when i start buying duplicates of things and/or leaving things i purchased at stores, i will say that is natures TINY way of telling me to cool it. conclusion #3:

i need to get back on track. have a routine again. 

now, on another really random note, the leaf blower man who lives on the other side of my fence is pushing my buttons. he really needs a new hobby. thats all im going to say. and on top of the constant leaf blower buzzing, i have a pigeon nest outside - like RIGHT outside my window. so i hear constant wing fluttering 24/7, well at least when i am home.

there. i am done ranting and raving.

la ta di da... take it as you will.