so bittersweet.

believe it or not, this is one of the few pictures i have of me that shows me truly happy. 100% happy. 100% content. this is a bittersweet picture for many reasons. it reminds me that i was once happy. that i had that chance to feel incredibly, amazingly happy. i look at this picture and i can almost taste that sweet feeling i had as this picture was taken. love and life seemed so effortless. smiles came so simply to my face. i can remember it like it was yesterday. its bitter because it reminds me that i WAS like that. i DID have it. and i DID lose it. and even though it feels so close to me, at the same time it feels like decades ago and i want to remember more.

this was taken between my freshman and sophomore years of college. all was right in my world. my eyes say i was happy in this picture. my smile isnt forced. and my hair was so much more tolerable then ;)

this isnt meant to be a sap story and its certainly not meant to come across as i am now depressed or anything like that. because i am totally not. i am a different kind of happy and content now. there are several great things going on in my life now and i am forever grateful. but there are things in the picture that i had at the time that i no longer have now. and it makes me sad sometimes to be without them. i love this picture not because of how my hair looks, how tan i was or that i could fit into that little black dress of mine that now resides at the back of my closet. i love this picture because in a bittersweet way, it pushes me to keep moving forward and most of all, it reminds me to be patient as it's all in God's hands.

la ta di da...so bittersweet.