its okay to be content

fall is about over. i mean we had snow flurries last night and it gets dark by 7pm. i have to turn my clocks ahead, or behind, tonight... should probably look that up. i'm watching Love Actually right now. had no idea it was Christmas related. Hobby Lobby had their fall decorations on clearance before the fall season even hit. give us some time to adjust people!

my mom told me today the two tentative dates for our family Christmas with my dad's side of the family. she said to keep both dates open for the time being. who knows which date will work best for my cousins and sister and her family. as i told my mom it would be no problem i realized this: this year is yet again another holiday season with no lucky guy at my side. 4 years and counting. the reason i though of this was because my cousins have two families now. my sister has two families now. so they have more birthdays and family Christmas celebrations to try and coordinate. me on the other hand: tell me the time and place and im there without any coordination obstacles.

part of me is hit with missing having that someone next to me to enjoy the holiday season with. the other part of me says to kick it in high gear and remember that you are successful and can be that independent girl you admire- the one that is 100% happy without the need of someone else.

truth be told i struggle with the second part as much as the first part. its all about trying to find that balance between wanting and needing someone to be by you to make you happy.

so am i happy since i am as single as could be? yes and no. i would say im more content that i am happy. i love my job, i have great friends and a terrific family. i attend a great church and have grown in my faith tremendously over the last year. i should say that im happy. but im simply content. and right now, that's okay for me. because im still putting my life together, still figuring out this life that i am building for myself.

so ive decided for myself that being content, and just content, might be exactly what i need right now. but that doesnt mean i dont ever want more or struggle with just being content with my life.

anywho, apologies if that wasnt the most uplifting post.

now someone tell me which way to turn my clocks....

la ta di da... its okay to be content.