for love's sake.. be patient.

for some reason the concept of love has been on my heart, weighing pretty heavily. i cant really describe it well, how it feels, but im going to take a shot at it.

i believe i have experienced it before. and i was asked the other what its like. and i couldnt really remember all of the good things about it. i first thought of how it made me act, how it made him act and because of how we both changed, we fell out of love. then i wondered if it was really love at all. i first thought of all the "bad" aspects of love, and then that scared me a little. i wonder if that because of my bad endings with what i thought was "love", i am at arms length from what could be.

i want it badly again. i am sure that God made me to love and be to be in a relationship that is filled with love and joy and happiness and all the gushy love-like things. so I am convinced that this chapter has not ended. but it makes me wonder what that feeling of complete happiness and joy is like, and what its like to share that with someone.

last weekend i had the opportunity to see some of my greatest friends at the manville-bicknell wedding. there i was, surrounded by couples who are married to their best friends and are just so in love. it made me hopeful and it reminded me that God is working on me and is still working on that guy He has picked out for me. One day, i hope, He will make us run into each other, he will accidentally spill his coffee on me or something embarrassing like that.

It also made me remember, that joy and happiness and complete content-ness [yes thats a word] should be found God first. I guess that is something that i have struggled with for a while. i believe i am making progress but its human nature to long for someone to love. i'll get there. eventually. when its right.

i dabble in the arts... so here is the latest creation. its kind of silly how i made it. the cross with the heart is actually a bumper sticker from Facebook. i came across it a long time ago when bumper stickers were the cool thing on Fbook. i really liked it. i want to get it as a tattoo but dont know where i would get it... so i probably wont ever get it done. so a less expensive and less painful way to keep that image around was to paint it. i hung it on my living room wall. fits perfectly :)

"His grace is sufficient for me, for His power is made perfect in weakness"

la ta di da... for love's sake, be patient.