everything has changed, yet it all remains the same

today was a typical monday. hectic, chaotic and unplanned. it was beautiful outside today. it was cooler. the sun was out. the wind blew. it was one of those days i wished i could just drive and drive...clear the noggin and just think.

well i didnt get to do that. except for on the way home from work. i worked late and i was able to catch all but 2 green lights [very rarely does that ever happen].

i drove with the windows down and i used that time to just think. and i thought about kyle and what it would be like had he lived. i wonder where he would be today. if he would have ever slept enough in college to make it through his classes! i wonder if he would have kept his short hair or if he would have re-grown his long hair. he changed everything. i think anyone who knew him would agree with me. he changed everything.

i miss that kid more than anything. as i'm sure most people do who knew him. its the simple things that make me remember him. like songs by Nelly from when i went to jackson with him and Dave in Daves beat up car, blaring the radio with the windows down and pretending we knew how to rap to Nelly. or like my polka dot chair [that sits in my living room right now] from when him and dave broke into my room and stole all of which they could grab...then ran across campus and put on all the clothes they stole from me and my roommate..then proceeded to get locked out of their room with our clothes still on. or baggy red basketball shorts and tear away pants... or when i see a guy who tries to hide the fact that his hair is thinning at such a young age and grows his hair long and thinks it will cover it up...i miss him. and wish he had something funny or something profound to tell me. he did leave us with some of his insight on life though. this never gets old to me...

John 11:35

How is it that the shortest verse in the bible speaks volumes upon volumes of significance? It says simply: Jesus Wept. In these two little words we see so much of our savior's heart. So quickly we, as human nature provokes, ask the question "Why?" "Why did this happen to me?" "Why did you let this go on?" "Why did you..." "Why didn't you..." We so quickly forget that God never intended for us to be hurting. God never wanted his children to cry. I don't pretend to know how your feeling. I don't pretend that I have faced even a hint of the squall of sorrow that you are going through. But I do know one thing with all my heart... God Weeps Too. God, endless in power, the almighty creator of the heavens, who, with a whisper created everything that exists, now, in your pain, comes along side of you... wraps you in his loving arms... and weeps with you; he deeply and lovingly weeps with you. Jesus Wept.

There's another passage of scripture I'd like to add to this. It's found in Mark 4. A storm rises while the disciples are in a boat and Jesus is sleeping. They wake him up and he quiets the storm with but a whisper. He whispers to this squall, "Peace, Be Still".
I pray, that you would feel his loving arms wrap around you, that you would see the tears rolling down his face, and hear him whispering to the storms in your life, "Peace, Be Still."

In His Grip,
Kyle

la ta di da...