enlightened yet overwhelmed

In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. -James 2:17

today was an enlightening day. it was filled with friends and God and I couldnt have asked for more. [well there IS more that I could ask for but for today, it was good].

i am a little over loaded with emotion, thoughts, feelings, worries and things alike so this next week might be a fun week for the blog [or confusing depending on how crazy my thoughts get once put down on paper...or typed... you get the point].

i dont even know where to begin. i guess lately i have been treading water with my faith. i have asked the Lord for guidance and wisdom and for the desires of my heart to be revealed to me but i have only done that sporadically. i do it here and there or when i remember. which is even worse. my faith has been dry and i guess i felt like i was on a tread mill; constantly running but making no progress.

as an attempt to make a change in my life, i have come to the conclusion that i should start changing ahead of time, instead of waiting until its too late and i am in yet another situation i wished i hadnt gotten myself into. [seems like common sense, right?]
so with that, i am in search for a devotional, one that goes through Psalms preferably. i need to spend more time reading and listening. [i am sure i will cover more in depth on this topic "listening" later this week]

i attended a young adult group tonight. not sure if its "my thing", but i think that only because i havent really enjoyed them before or felt the NEED for it. now that i feel i am in need of MORE i figured to give it a shot. i feel thirsty for some great God change in my life. I need MORE of Him in my life and i am bound to take every measure i can to change my ways and walk in a straight path.

despite my tears tonight and my frustrations and venting to my awesome mother, i feel semi peaceful that my current worries and issues will eventually be worked out on God's time. not mine. but that doesnt mean that i am not held responsible for my actions. as i was reminded tonight. my relationship with God is a partnership. and with that I can pray my prayers but i have to also be held responsible for my actions here on earth. God granted me the freedom of choice but if i am making choices that go against my prayers than that wont help me much now would it.

i have a lot floating in this little ol noggin tonight. far more than I can put into words for one sitting, which you should be greatful for ;-) too much at one time is never a good thing.

i may be writing every night. we'll see how the week goes. be prepared my friends. i have a lot on my plate.

la ta di da....this is only the beginning...